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Life and it's many challenges.......

2006-04-19T08:54:00.000-07:00

It has been far too long since I've posted anything here. I've been pretty busy at Unspeakably, as well as tons of family "stuff"!

Sergeant Soldier Boy is just home from Iraq, and I can't tell you how glad we all are of that! It was quite an experience, but God was by his side all the way, and He has provided a way for him to return to his beautiful wife!! When you think of our soldiers, never forget to pray for them. They need our prayerful support so very much.

Lieutenant Soldier Boy has had quite a time the last few months. Last fall, he entered Ranger training for a period of......I think it was 9 weeks. Long time to be apart from pregnant wife and baby boy. They had a glad reunion just before Christmas, nice long family visit here and at her folks', but he and baby boy both had bad colds.

By the time they left on New Year's Day, his wife was suffering with that cold. But it was to be more ominous an illness for her. She quickly advanced into pneumonia and was admitted to Army hospital on base. She "seemed" to be getting better, when early on a Sunday morning, the Lieutenant got a call from the hospital to rush over to sign papers for her to be transferred to a larger facility, as they could not handle the crisis she was in. He called here as he drove over, asking me to call folks to pray for his wife.

It turned out she had Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome(ARDS). 60% of people who get this do not survive.(see www.ardusa.com for info on this. It happens far more than most people realize, but you just hear, "Oh he died from complicatioins of......" She was 28 weeks pregnant at the time....so baby was in huge danger as well!

They almost lost her at Army hospital....doctors came out of her room telling our son that he needed to pray and pray hard.......nurses were weeping.....and they were 700 miles away from family members..... I had the job of calling her parents, as our son just wasn't able. How do you tell someone the beautiful girl they just saw a few days before, full of health and vitality, is close to death? I'm not even sure exactly what I said, but both her mom and I rushed to the hospital in Atlanta.

It was a harrowing roller coaster ride for the next few days. But, with each crisis, as I called on God's people to pray, He answered mightily!

Twice they nearly did an emergency c-section because they thought they could "at least save the baby"......but God brought her back. Once her body went into labor....but God stopped the labor.

Now, three months later, Bob and I are just returned from visiting them and their newborn and older son!!! Imagine what it is like, the last time you saw a loved one she was comatose and on a respirator, to come into her home, and there she is, the picture of health and vitality again, holding a precious 9 pound newborn!!! How we had prayed he would get all the way to 40 weeks, and he stayed to 40 weeks and 1 day!!

How Great is our God! He is still doing miracles!!

In the midst of it all, there was Sgt. Soldier Boy in Iraq, adult daughter moving back in with her infant, visits from out of town kids......

So, things have been pretty hectic for me.....but at the same time, I have felt more and more of God's loving kindnes in the busyness of life.

Unspeakably.com - Dealing With Untold Pain

2005-10-31T01:28:00.000-08:00

We've now setup the forum at Unspeakably.com
The forum will be all a place for folks to write about their untold hurts and abuse etc. We hope and pray that many will be able to find healing through God.

God Healed My Friend of Cancer

2005-10-29T17:08:00.000-07:00

Woohhoo. I just got news that God healed my friend of cancer.
God totally rocks.
I have asked her to write and send me her testimony.
I hope she does. If she writes it I will put it online for you to read and be blessed by it.

Relationships Books Accessible Soon

2005-10-29T06:46:00.000-07:00

My friends Bob and Sue Dewing Australia have just sent me their books on Relationships. We will be reproducing the books online on an upcoming website Preaching Magazine. A fellow
pastor will also be sending his sermons which we will make freely accessible online. I am speaking to other pastors too so I hope they will be willing to release the documents soon for use on the site. We pray many people will be blessed by them.

Book titles to be released soon:

One Flesh
Marriage
Dating
Lust or Love?
Strong Drink
Training Children
Television?
The Sin of Onan

I will keep you posted.

My Friend Laura Has a Miracle to Share

2005-10-28T13:35:00.000-07:00

I met Laura (who hails from Essex, UK) online 6 years ago on yahoo chat and we've been friends since. We were very blessed to have had the privilege to meet in person April 2005. Laura has an amazing story to tell. Do read her story at http://essexgirl.info/laura. It'll be an ongoing story so keep reading each day.

Focus on the Family

2005-10-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

I am pretty impressed, The Malaysian Government has invited Focus on the Family to speak at Family development seminars etc. Being a muslim nation it's pretty surprising. But God does work in mysterious ways. I attended one seminar 2 years ago and today my parents who are Marriage Counselors at their church attended the Government subsidized seminars. They brought home a really snazzy manual which the Government subsidized (wow). Anyways I will write to the Government body to see if I can somehow work out a deal to distribute it on my site or something like that. Pray that God will make something happen. Will keep you updated should anything happen further.

I have invested in 9 Wedding & Marriage related domains with which I hope to develop with assistance of others. Please pray for me as I work things out.
The domains are:
OurWeddingPics.com
OurWeddingCards
FaerieTaleWedding.com
WeddingPublications.com
WeddingContact.com
Solemnization.com
Solemnized.com
OurLovelyHoneymoon.com
HelpForMarriages.com

Do post your feedback or have ideas you think would be of benefits in developing the wedding / marriage sites at http://helpformarriages.com/forum

Information on Mesothelioma

2005-10-20T13:20:00.000-07:00

I have just added a full segment on Mesothelioma which you can now access at http://doctored.biz/mesothelioma.html

I am purchasing a suite of Medical & Healthcare Professionals databases next month. This will enable people to do live searches right from the site. Even though the databases will cost me a bomb I would like to make the site available to the public totally free. I hope this will be helpful to many.

There will be over 1,500,000 entries in the databases:
U.S. Dental Laboratories Database
U.S. Dentists Database
U.S. Dialysis Facilities Database
U.S. Health Insurance Agents Database
U.S. Homecare Agencies Database
U.S. Hospice Care Facilities Database
U.S. Hospitals Database
U.S. Massage Therapists Database
U.S. Medical Billing Services Database
U.S. Medical Equipment Supplier Database
U.S. Medical Records Services Database
U.S. Nursing Homes Database
U.S. Optometrists Database
U.S. Pharmacies Database
U.S. Doctors / Physicians Database

If you would like to sponsor financially towards the development of the site please contact Jeremy via email: database @ doctored.biz.

Thanks.

Discipline in the Christian Home

2005-09-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

I'm spending a few days with the oldest daughter. She just gave birth to her third little boy, and needed some help recovering and developing the "new normal" that comes about with the addition of a new family member.

We were having a talk the other night about discipline as her dad and I did it when she was young, the things we feel we did wrong, and the things I would change could I travel through time.

She brought up a book called "Shepherding a Child's Heart" which is highly recommended by many Christians. I have to say that there are some things that I just don't think I could recommend the book.

I know that the Bible says that to spare the rod of correction is to spoil the child, and I'm not saying that we should never spank....but in my own experience, many Christians overuse the spanking option for much too minor offenses than is necessary. Please understand that I'm judging myself on this issue. I was one of those Christian parents. I was told that EVERY little disobedience or procrastination was grounds for a spanking. Because I was young, and these were CHRISTIANS and more experienced as parents than I was, I did all they told me.

If you are reading this, and you are a young parent, please read more than one book or idea of parenting. Reasearch lots of methods. Especially if you have more than one child, because what works with one may not work with a second child.

Be flexible. Don't be afraid to spank if it's warranted, but don't use spanking exclusively in developing discipline in your child.

Make sure your life has some discipline. Don't be going off the handle at every little thing.(I had to learn this the hard way too.....)

Mostly, read your Bible. Yes, it does say that sparing the rod with spoil the child, but it also says not to provoke your child to anger.

For practical tips on spanking:

Make sure the child understands what he did wrong

Take him to someplace private for scolding or spanking.

Don't remove undies. Leave them their modesty. Take down jeans, or they won't feel the spanking enough to make it worth while. Light weight shorts are ok to leave up.

Don't spank when YOU are angry. If you can't cool down, then jsut don't spank. But you should set an example of not letting your emotions rule your actions.

When the spanking is over, offer forgiveness without MAKING them say they're sorry. Tell them that Jesus died on the cross for them, and took the "spanking" we all deserve from God.

Try to get them to commit to not doing that thing again.

Pray for them to have the strength to not do it again.

When you walk out of hte room where the spanking occured, the event is OVER. Don't bring it up again in front of the child, except to tell the other parent what happened, and that it was dealt with, and child will try not to do that again.

Don't further punish the child with no dessert or snacks or other privileges. If you're going to use privilege-loss for discipline, then use that. If you're using spanking, then use that...unless it's a MAJOR offense that needs are MAJOR response.

Make sure you've told the child several times in teh process that you love him, and make sure you are kind to him after it's "all over". It can be easy to be angry and hold a grudge, but this is not what God does with us. We should not do it with our children.

The Teddy Bear That Gave His Life for His Country.......

2005-09-28T10:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the son is in training in preparation for that deployment to Iraq. Despite a real roller coaster ride, including an injured foot that the doctors couldn't decide if it was broken or not......he's back "in the field" although a bit gimpy.

They had rifle training, and he was one of just a few who qualified as expert. Now, this boy hasn't always qualified that well, when I realized that ever since he graduated the police academy, he's come out to one of our neighbor's fields to work on target practice.

so, what does the young cop use as a target when he doesn't want to spend money on a specialized target? How about the well-worn teddy bears of his youth?

So, each week, another poor teddy that I didn't have the heart to throw away, gives his "life" for his country, as he is carried unceremoniously through the woods, out to the creek, at the lip of the field. He's set up on a stump, and executed with deadly accuracy.

Although Teddy was drafted into the service, he goes along uncomplainingly, as his fluff falls upon the earth.

Violent? In a way, yes. But, I am ever so grateful for Teddy, because his sacrifice may end up being instrumental in avoiding the blood of my son falling upon the earth, or the blood of a son of another military parent.....because Teddy was the target of hours of practice....and the expert qualification of my soldier.

Video of My Son's Unit Send-off!!

2005-08-24T19:15:00.000-07:00

There's video of my son's unit send off and there's a good pic of my son in formation! When they are shown in formation, the pic withthe guy holding the flag...that guy was I's best man at his wedding. IN the next scene, my son is just to the left and behind the female soldier in the front.

The URL is http://www.nbc4i.com Click on "news", then there is a link to "parade honors soldiers" in the Central Ohio news secion. It was good to see his face....

He said good-bye to the kids today....

2005-08-19T19:14:00.000-07:00

It was a rough day for Sgt. "I". He came by with his new uniforms for the mother-figure to sew patches onto....and to say good-bye to the younger six. He seemed pretty antsy. Wanting to stay..needing to go. His wife and mom were sitting in the kitchen chatting, unaware that he had started the process in the family room of going to each child to say good-bye and get a hug and a kiss, if the child wasn't too "manly" for such a thing.

It was just one more step in the leaving process. The little ones didn't seem to quite understand. The first grader looked shocked when I told him he'd be a second grader when "I" gets back. Sort of, you're kidding, right? Not see my big brother for THAT long?

"K", 7, picks things up far too easily. She seemed to understand all too well that the place this brother is going is not a safe one. We'll need to keep the tv news turned off this year.

The next 4 boys played their manly, soldier roles well. Quick hug. See ya. Take care.

So. This is real. It's happening.

I wish I could talk to MY mom......

To the Depths of Fear of the Unknown......

2005-08-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

After all the joy of the summer, we have come to "I's" last week at home. He and his bride have been doing an admirable job of making each moment count before he leaves for duty in Iraq.

This mom's flesh just wants to have a major temper tantrum. I did have a good cry on hubby's shoulder last weekend just before attending meetings on family "readiness". I just didn't want to burst into tears in front of 400 people at the thought of my "little boy" going into harm's way. You see, when your child is making a big leap in life, you don't just see the capable adult standing there before you. You see the infant you cuddled, the little boy whose knees you bandaged, the 14 yo in baggy shirts, shorts, and sneakers...the soccer player rejoicing over a goal....all wrapped up in this tall young man with the confident glance.

I don't want to go more than a year without seeing his face. I don't want him to go to a country where there are people who hate him for merely existing.

This feeling has nothing to do with the politics of the situation. I really don't care about the politics.

But, this son has turned back to the God of his childhood in all of this. I see a thoughtful, godly man growing there, so how can I be distraught?

I MUST keep my eyes on God's face through this time. I MUST look for His purpose.

Yes, I'm frightened for my child, my son, this man. My heart is breaking not just for me, but for his wife. My heart is breaking for my husband who stands like a rock to let me cry on his shoulder, when, maybe he feels like crying himself.

I need faith to trust. I am grateful for God's goodness in his life. I'm grateful that God gave him a beautiful, faithful wife.

Father God, help me keep my eyes on you.

From the heights of joyful.......

2005-08-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since I poste here. "Busy" hardly says what life has been lately.

Two sons got married this summer.

At the beginning of June was "I", 22, young, full of vigor. He'd been stressed. He's expected to deploy to Iraq soon with his reserve unit, and he and his bride just wanted the commitment of marriage before he leaves, and the joy of togetherness before the pain of separation.

It was a lovely day. All of the original 12 were here, but "D's" husband was missed as well as the adopted ones who couldn't make the trip. I so love to have eveyone together, and I dream of hte day when we ALL will be together celebrating as a family. All 15 and all the grandchildren.....sigh....anyway.....

Though the day had it's stresses, all was in readiness as the music began. The groom and groomsmen came in, "I" looking like he was gonna just jump out of his shoes. The smile on his face when he looked at us said it all, "All my dreams, Mom and Dad.....all my dreams are about to come true!"

Bridesmaids approached, and the music rose. In walked the bride on the arm of her daddy. He barely held back tears as he walked his only little girl down that all too short aisle and handed her to my son. But, the look on that young man's face was one of pure adoration as she floated down that all too long aisle to him.

The bride's smile was like sunshine.....radiant fails to describe how she really looked, as it was so much more than radiant. They took each other's hands, looked into each other's eyes, and began to pledge their lives to each other before God. They were beautiful to see....so in love, so sure.

Their excitement was visible, I couldn't help but smile, despite the tears of another of my "little ones" taking this step into the rest of his life. After they lit the unity candle, they looked out over the people gathered to share their joy, and smiled, almost laughing, spreading joy and rapture over the room, till you just couldn't help but smile in response to their dreams coming true, and feeling priveleged to share in the happiness of the dream.

M got married at the end of July, another beautiful summer day! He and his bride were just so beautiful together, promising love for a lifetime. They got married at a local hall here that used to be a Catholic military boarding school. There's a grotto down the hill and into the trees, where the light filtered through the leaves. We walked down, and into the grotto, rows of white chairs set up before the stone edifice.

After the 15 yo escorted dh and me to our seats, dh whispered, "Do you see the butterfly?" There, just beyond the pastor and the altar was a beautiful butterfly, its wings wafting in the filtered sunlight, resting on a rock.

The music began, and groom and groommen came into the grotto. Next, bridesmaids, smiling, some tearful with the joy of the day. The music rose, Pachelbel's Canon echoed, and in walked the bride, glowing....shining, almost, angelic in white. I looked at my son, the groom, and the joy in his eyes was almost palpable. I pray he will always remember the moment of his bride's entrance.

As they said their vows, another butterfly joined the first, and they flew up together, circling one another, until they flitted off together into the sunshine.
And, after the first kiss as husband and wife, the bride and groom nearly floated off into the sunshine outside the grotto themselves, approaching a long and happy life together.

Now, after the parties and excitement have died down, I look at them, as well as our other married children, and see that my job is done. This is bittersweet, because I will always long to, just one more time, hold my little girl or little boys in my arms, and sing them to sleep. But so sweet, in that, I now have happy adult children to share life with. And grandchildren as a reward.....how I love them all. So, I can begin to hold THEIR babies, and sing them to sleep, and still see a bit of the little faces they once had, that I hold so dear to my heart.

This Road That We Travel...

2005-07-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

This Road That We Travel...

2005-07-05T08:25:00.000-07:00

Well, it was a nice 4th.....we just sat on the deck, reading our books while still keeping an eye on the kids swimming in the pond. We haven't relaxed like that in an awfully long time. It seems like the busyness of life just keeps ramping upwards, until I feel like I'm Linus in the "Peanuts" comic strips. You know, when he's sitting there with his blankie, and Snoopy rushes in, grabs the blankie, and there's Linus, flying along behind, thumb still firmly implanted in mouth.

The next big thing is VBS. I have a new respect for VBS and it's value this year than I've had in years past. In the past, I had gotten rather cynical, wondering if this weeklong activity was worth all the effort. What were we doing? It "looked" like we were just entertaining children, in the name of Jesus, but still, it seemed like just so much entertainment.

Then, one of the adult daughters told us of how she'd asked Jesus into her heart at VBS when just a little child. And I am stopped in my tracks. It could be the whole difference in her life, when all is said and done.

So, now, VBS has taken on a whole new importance and vibrance for me. As I prepare, I'm thinking much more about hte possibility that some child will make a real connection to the Lord during that week. That a child will feel the love of Jesus and the love of others around them. And the busyness doesn't seem like such a bad thing anymore.

While we could all use some balance in our busy lives, we need to really look at what we are busy
at. Are busy at things that are going to make a difference to others, or are we doing stuff just for our own pleasure. Now, I'm not knocking having a good time for some R&R, but the frenetic activity I see among parents, especially, makes me wonder if it's worth it. Little league sports and ballet have become so overwhelming, that there seems to be little time for children to just enjoy

play.

Also, are we teaching our children to serve others? Are we, by running them to and fro for lessons, practices, games, recitals, taking the time to also serve? To visit an elderly relative or friend, or pass out coats at the Salvation Army in the fall, or cleaning up at a soup kitchen?

If we are going to be busy, we should probably consider if our busyness is profitable for the training of our children to be the generous adults we hope they will become.

"It Was An Accident, Mom"

2005-07-02T17:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here it is, less than a week since the older 2 of the youngest 6 showed such maturity, and I'm reeling from a day of kids picking at or bullying each other.

The kids were picking up clutter around the house the other day, and Little Girl, 7, picked up something belonging to Little Guy, 6. He wanted it from her and he wanted it NOW.....she's trying to put it away, and he's having a hissy-fit. He decides that the way to get his way is to give her a swift kick. Well, it lands on her tummy, and immediately, he's scared....she comes crying to Mommy, and he knows his little goose is fully cooked.

He tries to "explain" how it was an "accident" and that he meant to kick her in the leg, which is supposed to be somehow better. He's saying "Sorry, sorry, sorry", I suppose believing that this is gonna get him a lighter "sentence".

It didn't.

In the meantime, I'm reading about the effects of violent video games and television, and I'm wondering.....have we gone wrong here? We don't have any games in the house that shows anything graphic, but we do have some Star Wars games(light sabers and flips in the air).....

Then there's the "boys will be boys" attitude. I start going back in time in my mind and ask myself, "Did the adult sons act like this? We didn't have video games when they were this age...."

The answer is, yes, sometimes they did. They argued, fussed, tussled, wrestled, and yes, sometimes they hit each other. I made the same lecture to them, years ago, that I used today about using words to solve their problems instead of hurting one another.

The tussling went on, but they did learn to "talk things out". They began to use wrestling as a form of stress relief, not for angry reprisals.

I still think it's time to put the brakes on violent video play, especially for Little Guy. But some of this is normal male behavior as they learn how to deal with their emotions.

I've found with mid-childhood kids(8-12), they really need a physical outlet for all that energy. So, a controlled backyard football game, or some wretsling on the floor, within reason, isn't out of the realm of reasonable behavior for boys.

Most important is parental guidance. Not freaking out because one of them hurt another in a fit of temper. But, helping them with new tools to deal with their anger. And when they just want to play rough, just let them tussle around in a safe environment.

So, today, I told little guy to go tell each one that he was angry with them. I told him to tell them why. (Basically, he's tired of being bossed around by 5 older siblings!) Then, he saw that no one was crying, but he'd let his anger out with words instead of fists or feet.

I know this is not a one time event and all will be well from here on out....I've been parenting too long to be fooled into that kind of thinking. But hopefully, I've made a beginning at guiding Little Guy toward thinking and speaking his needs for validation, instead of "enforcing" them with his fists. Amd I hope that the older guys also saw that Little Guy can only take so much "bossing around" and that he has feelings that need to be considered, too.

One of the best moments of parenting.......

2005-06-28T20:58:00.000-07:00

I watched something really cool yesterday......two of my boys acting like men. Men with real values. It was amazing. What only weeks or months before would have meant arguing and blaming, yesterday was humble, value for the other person, and real bonding.

TC, 14, was sitting at the PC, playing a game and IM'ing with friends, and AO was outside with the little brothers and neighbor kids playing a rousing game of Jedi's. I heard more than saw AO stand at the screen door, calling to TC. He walked in the door, and he was nearly weeping. In his hands was the big, wooden broad sword that their Dad had made for TC for Christmas, broken in two sharp pieces.

He wept, "I'm sorry....I'm so sorry...."

TC patted him on the shoulder...."Don't worry, Buddy. It's ok. It's just a thing. Dad made this one, he can make another. When he does, we'll just put both of ours on our wall or something.....don't worry, it's ok. It's just a material thing."

Before me, my sons showed a manhood I had yet to imagine in them. A manhood of responsibility and of valuing a brother over a thing that was precious, in that it was a father's gift....but still just a thing.

I just sat and watched it unfold, like the bloom of a flower, or of the emergence of a butterfly from a cocoon. It was beautiful and amazing.

I've seen this before, this coming to maturity. But it seemed slower, more labored. I can't take credit as a parent. I did my best to give them all the same values as they grew. These two embraced the values that their Dad and I worked so hard to teach and to model. They could have chosen differently. Others had. But these two chose integrity and caring.

Suddenly, as I look at TC, the changes in his looks, how he carries himself, the depth of his voice, I realize that my days of mothering are becoming fewer and fewer. The years of maturity will follow more nad more quickly, piling upon one another until the little one will deepen in voice and grow in stature.

It's bittersweet, watching your "babies" lose their need for your guidance, but, a moment like yesterday's is a glowing warmth of satisfaction that they are becoming all I have prayed for them to be.

Common Sense and Brain Development: A Parent's Dilemma

2005-06-22T20:50:00.000-07:00

As we read the reports from Aruba referring to the disappearance of Natalee Holloway, I began to think about the difficulties of parenting not-quite-adult offspring and the changes that have occured over the last 30 years or so about the "legal age" and Biblical "age of accountability".

In US society, and likely most of the Western European cultures, adolescents have been considered "adults" at younger ages than in the past. But, recently, there have been studies on brain development (see: http://www.earthsky.com/shows/profiles/giedd.php and http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/teenbrain.cfm ) would indicate that the human brain is not "finished cooking" until very late adolescence or even the early twenties. Anyone who has parented through the late teens and early twenties can testify to the enormous change in attitude, motivation, and generaly maturity that occurs in the 4-5 years following high school graduation.

So, it begs the question, were we, as a society, correct in lowering the legal age from 21 to 18? Should we be sending adolescents into battle? Should we trust them as voters? Even the Bible would indicate that the age of accountability occurs after the age of 20. (Book of Numbers, Chapter 1. All those under the age of 20 were considered "minor children", were not sent to war, were not held accountable)

And, most importantly, is it safe for them to go out into a crazy world with only 7 chaperones for 124 high school seniors for a senior trip? When I heard the ratio of chaperones to students on that fateful trip, I was appalled. Not that I expect high school seniors to need watching like toddlers, but it's difficult enough to keep track of 3 or 4 teenagers on your own turf......but 18 teenagers per chaperone on an exotic island with all sorts of temptations???.....it just seems like poor common sense.

As parents, we really need to think about the situations we allow, pay for, and condone. We will never be able to completely protect our children, nor can we prohibit legal adults (even if they are not mentally and emotionally mature) from doing what they wish to do. But, we can advise against and refuse to finance that which we believe to be against our moral standards, our safety standards, and our own good common sense.

The next argument, of course, is that we don't want to "alienate" our children, that if they want something, we should provide it. But, if we are jellyfish with our children, we do worse than alienate them. We put them at risk. We may not be putting their lives at risk, but their futures, their happiness, their mental and emotional health. Is it worth that cost?

The very fact that the lead suspect in Miss Holloway's disappearance is also an adolescent, plays to the assumption of adolescent impulsiveness and reckless behavior.

I in no way blame Ms. Holloway's parents for this horrifying situation, nor do I blame the parents of the young suspects. We have all bought in to the idea that our adolescents are adults and give them more freedoms than they are able to handle. We as a society need to change our thinking.

It is time for us to be on our knees daily, beseeching the Lord to draw our children to Him and His best for our children. And, we need be praying for our children's safety in a patently unsafe world.

It is time for parents to become PARENTS again, taking a stand, putting steel in our spines, and thinking with our good sense and not our emotional desire to avoid conflict with our adolescent and adult children.

Pregnancy Calculator

2005-06-17T13:46:00.000-07:00

Introducing Mommy15

2005-06-12T22:59:00.000-07:00

Hey, just thought I'd introduce myself before I step up on my soap box......I'm Lois Loar, married to my best friend, Bob....mom to 12 natural children, and 3 adult adopted daughters. I've been parenting for nearly 30 years, and now embarking on the grandparent adventure with 7 grandchildren and 2 more grandchildren due by the end of the year!

For years, people have said to me "You should write a book"....but who has time to write entire books while homeschooling, chasing toddlers and teenagers, and helping out the adult kids with babysitting and listening to woes?

Blogging seems to be a great answer for this as I can type some thoughts and send them out there without having to put down pages and pages before "sending it out".

There are lots of parenting topics I'd like to explore, so let's start with some parenting "philosophy".

Children are not meant to be for the pleasure and fulfillment of their parents. Whoa!!! You mean I shouldn't have a child just because I "want" one?

I would say, "No". Why?? Well, I recently was asked to do devotions at a baby shower. As I was looking for appropriate scriptures, I read the following:

Gen 1:27 God created man in his own image. In God's image he created him; male and female he created them.
Gen 1:28 God blessed them. God said to them, "Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

My take on this, in this context of child-bearing, is that God first of all told us to "be fruitful and multiply", but because we are made in His image. By being fruitful and multiplying, we are to be filling the earth with HIS image!!

When we seek to have a child, it behooves us to think and pray carefully about our attitude about children in general and why we "want" them. We should carefully consider the huge responsibility of rearing a child, who is made in the image of God, to represent Him with faith and honor. To think first of the child's best, and not our own needs or wants.

"What is best for this child?" should be the question on our hearts and minds as we rear our children, especially for those of us who call ourselves Christians.

So, as I begin this discussion, this is the foundation I wish to lay:

Always remember that our children are made in God's image.
Our first concern for our child is his/her own best interests, and not our own.
How this decision will affect the man or woman he/she will become.